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Friday, November 19, 2010

Football Coaches, GM’s and Owners must think the fans are morons...

(photo-Redskins Coach Mike Shanahan via Wikimedia Commons)

Football Coaches, GM’s and Owners must think the fans are morons because they insult the fans’ intellect on a daily basis…..
By Dr Bill Chachkes-Managing partner/Executive Editor Football Reporters Online

Why is it that (some) football coaches feel the need to “double-speak ‘ in press conferences all the time? What good does it really do? It only hurts their credibility and shows those around him that he has no grasp or control of the situation. Let me make something very clear here. I have never coached at the NFL level, but I spent over 15 years connecting with players as both a teacher and a football coach (and a H.S asst. dean). Never did I ever spend one moment making up a silly sounding story to explain to my players why I did something in practice or a game.

A most recent example of what I’m talking about is Redskins head coach Mike Shanahan. “Shanny” is supposed to be one of the most brilliant football minds out there, but clearly he was “speaking through the side (or back) of his mouth a few weeks back when he benched Donovan McNabb in favor of Rex Grossman to run a two minute drill in a game against the Lions. Grossman, who might be better off if he started his coaching or broadcasting career early (or any other career for that matter), turned over the ball as quickly as it takes a soldier to snap a salute. Result, Lions win (and the Fords’ sell a few more cars overseas!). REX, please call Heath Shuler. He was just elected to Congress, maybe he can help you out with some advice.

In the post game afterwards he(Shanahan) said something to the effect that McNabb was not in shape enough to run a “two minute” offense. Huh? Has McNabb been making un-scheduled stops at Dunkin we don’t know about? Is he doing the “3 Quarts for 12 Bux” deal at Baskin Robbins (I do, but my wife is addicted to butter pecan and rocky road)? I’ve only met Mr. McNabb once professionally, but I have never seen him “Out of Shape.” No, clearly something else is afoot here.

People who watch the Redskins have seen McNabb’s clashes with Redskins’ offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan (of course he is Mike’s son) on the sidelines during games. One was even on national TV. The sports television industry doesn’t show fans running on the field or fighting in the stands, but they show coaches and players having it out when something goes wrong. Right now the Redskins organization (read the elder Shanahan) probably wished they had never made the move for McNabb this past spring, and will be at the bottom of the NFC east again this year, especially if Dallas wins a few more games for Jason Garrett.

Speaking of Dallas, Jerry Jones must have a giant mirror he talks to every day. All we have heard during the Cowboys collapse prior to their drubbing of the Giants this past week was how “he” was looking for answers just like everyone else and how he alone was responsible for the current crisis in north Texas. At least he’s telling part of the truth. He is the blame because he thinks he’s as good a football personnel man as he is flush with money. I wonder if he actually listens to himself when he’s practicing his lines in that mirror. That’s why everyone working for him just nods to him when he talks. Poor Wade Phillips never had a shot. If Jones had handed the team to Garrett a few weeks sooner, the Cowboys might be in the hunt for a wild card spot right now. The team quit on Phillips, just like they rallied for Garret Sunday against the Giants. The Cowboys won’t be playing in a meaningful game again until “Mr. Jerruah gets hisself” another football man to run things the right way.

Another NFL head coach undergoing a season long brain cluster headache is Brad Childress in the movie “Alice in Viking-land” You didn’t see it yet? It stars Brett “The Farvelous” one, the greatest dramatic comedy actor/athlete of all time. Explain to me how the Patriots trade (Randy-the Dandy)Moss (as much as I can’t stand to admit it, coach “Bill in da hoodie” is one smart guy for a cheater), who we all know as talented a receiver as he is, is missing a few fries from his happy meal, for a third round pick in 2011, and gets released 3 weeks later, only to wind up in Nashville with his third team this season, hanging out in the home of country music?

So Randy, tell me, the caterers down there are treating you good right? Because without that post practice meal after the shower the day is just totally ruined. No, “Chilly Bear” is wishing right now that he never sent the three players down to Kiln, Miss. this summer to get Brett to come back. It’s all just a bad dream Bradley, we know. You are going to wake up and talk like Billy Bob Thorton in Slingblade. “uh Huh, We took it to em, huh? We can still win the North if we get past Green Bay, uh Huh” Coach, start wearing a hat so your brain cells don’t freeze. He doesn’t need a hug either.

One last brilliant football man who has me looking through the websters’ unabridged trying to find a word to describe him is Chargers GM A.J. Smith. He’d rather screw over his own team then trade away a player who he doesn’t think is worth the money he was already being paid, twice. I forgot that A.J. was a commander in the civilian harbor watch unit when he wasn’t making Bolts’ fans suffer through his ignorance. Clearly he understands naval tactics so he must know how to manage an NFL franchise. Let’s ruin my teams’ defense and let my QB chase Dan Marino’s passing record. That’s gotta be good for a 9-7 record, right?
“We are not going to trade a player to another team for less then he’s worth”
Brilliant, simply brilliant. What he was really saying was: “no one is going to get the better of me.” So smart boy, what is the Chargers record? Brilliant. Now you know why the NFL owners want a lockout next March. Not only do they want to screw the players, they want to lay off half their front office staff too. Sorry if this was all too blunt for you on a Friday in November, but I’ve only been watching, playing, coaching, scouting, and writing about football for a total of 45 years, so I have to call it as I see it.

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