JETS NEED A COACH THAT FITS
by TJ Rosenthal-Football Reporters Online
Woody Johnson and GM Mike Tannenbaum have both expressed their desire for a coach that would better fit the direction of the franchise from this day forward. Most Jet fans agree with this assessment. So, after 48 years of dreary football, Jan 12 1969 aside, I've compiled a list of people that truly fit the franchise as it exists today: A team with a 39 year old interception happy quarterback in limbo, a top 5 draft pick who had one more tackle than the kicker this season, and a team that at 8-3, couldn't beat a 2 win team down the stretch in order to control their own destiny.
1-Fireman Ed: Ed has seen more bad football and poor coaching decisions first hand than any human being alive or dead in the history of mankind. His experience alone will provide him with the knowledge of what NOT to do. That's a plus. A major plus. Not to mention, he can jump on players' shoulders during TV timouts to start the Jet chant through the stadium to get the crowd going. His charming lovable clown like demeanor is far and away the best fit going forward.
2-Joe Namath. Why has Broadway Joe, the only Jet that any Jet fan can speak proudly about , never been approached about this position? HE'S THE ONLY JET WHO HAS EVER WON! HE EVEN GUARANTEED IT! Ok ok, he had that sideline incident with Suzi what's her name a few years back. Tried to make out with her during an interview as the Jets were getting blasted by the Pats. You see though, THATS what the Jets need. A little flair. Even in a loss, Joe is gonna make it interesting, get a few phone numbers , wear a mink coat. No better yet , Woody can peel off the Namath jersey that the owner himself licks like a stamp every Sunday on the field level wall and let Joe wear it. This way if Vinny Testaverde, who I'm assuming the Jets will re sign in the offseason to get younger at the position, throws an interception, Broadway Joe can put himself in and try and rally the team late. If Ed turns down the job Woody, offer it to Namath.
3-George Bush. He'll be out of work in a few weeks and could bring a no nonsense attitude to the sidelines. Dick Cheney could run the offense, The Jets would throw bombs on every play. Donald Rumsfeld could run the defense. The Jets would blitz on every down. Even during tv timeouts. They wouldn't even wait for opposing teams to bring their offense onto the field at times and would pre emptively blitz the sidelines. They'd have blitzing players hit trainers, sideline reporters, flip over the benches and heaters. Now this would be a return to the old Oakland Raiders style of football in the early Seventies, but it worked for the Silver and Black. Not a bad move if the Jets brass feel that the collapse was due to the fact that the team got "soft" down the stretch.
4-Greg Gumbel. Just to get the boring sleepy guy out of the booth and no longer doing Jet games, let's put Gumbel where he belongs, with the sleepy Jets on the sidelines. They can take midday kindergarten naps together. No, they can take Sunday 3 hour naps together. Gumbel will wait until kickoff then order the team to find their cubby partner, a place on the turf, and rest. After getting a hold of old games on DVD and listening to Dick Enberg, Keith Jackson and Howard Cosell provide play by play, I can't believe this marriage has gone on as long as it has. Actually , I can. So hiring Gumbel as head coach, may the only way to cut ties. This option may be a more honest match energy wise, to what we saw towards the end in 2008 on the field anyway.
5-Frank TV: The guy is a comedian. Imitates everyone. He's hilarious. While the Jets are blowing another game, or another season, Woody can force the stadium scoreboard camera operator to cut to our new head coach doing some of those imitations he does during EVERY commercial break. Franks hiring will certainly keep the drunk, moronic fan base which includes me, distracted enough in order to lessen the Bon Jovi concert -like decibel level of those "Lets go Dolphins chants," that echoed through the Meadowlands on Sunday.
These are the 5 truly best suited, truly the best FIT for the state of the Jets. a franchise that can't escape the vicious cycle of disarray and disappointment.
